After a good annual review, my supervisor told me I was up for a raise pending approval of the vice president.
A month later, my supervisor called me into his office and told me the VP had refused to approve the raise.
His reason? I clearly wasn't doing my job.
Every time he saw me, I was either chatting with someone in the lobby or talking on the phone.
Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter 'penis.'
Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password.
She then almost died laughing at the computer's response: PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH.
The bewildered exec didn't know what she meant at first until she pointed.
He quickly zipped up and said, "I hope you didn't see my super deluxe Cadillac."
"Nope." she replied with a grin. "Just an old pink Volkswagen with 2 flat tires."
A big corporation recently hired several cannibals.
|Pleasant telephone manner - Have a voice like 1-900-XXX-XXXX
Administrative Assistant - Bad job with a title.
Receptionist, Professional Appearance Important - $20K a year job that requires a $100K year wardrobe
Secretary - Woman only job with the responsibilities of management and the wages of a migrant worker.
I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant
and say "Happy Birthday," and probably have a present for me.
She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone any "Happy Birthday."
I thought, "Well, that's wives for you, the children will remember."
The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.
When I started to leave for the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, "Good morning,
boss. Happy Birthday"
We went to lunch.
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful
After arriving at her apartment she said,
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying
a big birthday cake,
And there I sat...on the couch...naked.